Too often individuals wrongly think behavior directed at another employee was consensual or welcome by that person. These misunderstandings frequently lead to claims of harassment, even though the person engaging in the behavior will often say he or she didn’t mean or intend to harass or offend the person. To avoid misunderstandings, I recommend implementing what I call the “never ever” behaviors at work. These are behaviors or comments that, if committed, could result in the person not being able to work at the company any longer.
In setting these expectations, organizations should be specific on what constitutes a never ever.
The list includes behaviors that, even if consensual, cannot occur at work.
These behaviors should include the following at work or with colleagues after hours:
- Never talk about or discuss sex: In addition, avoid creepy behaviors such as lurking, whispering in someone’s ear or making sexual innuendo, flirtations, advances and propositions.
- Never view, discuss or access porn at work.
- Never expose or discuss your private body parts at work. This includes overexposure of breasts or exposing genitals.
- Never say the “n” word at work or anything remotely similar.
- Never say any racial or ethnic epithet or make racist comments or disparage race or color at work.
- Never touch another employee. Handshakes and fist pumps are generally acceptable. Hugging is extremely risky; it is the top discussion topic in harassment training.
Too many people wrongly think other people are welcoming their hugs. People frequently want to talk about that one time that a peer was crying because her mom died and she had to hug her. Employees need to focus on the day-to-day hugging at work, not the one-off unusual situation that might occur and justify the hug.
- Never date a subordinate employee. Of course, to date a subordinate employee, there were probably improper advances along the way, which also falls into the never ever.
- Never mock or question someone’s disability or assume or regard someone as having a mental or physical impairment.
- Never comment on someone’s body.
- Never disparage someone’s age or joke about their advanced age.
- Never disparage someone’s accent or national origin.
- Never disparage someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity or question someone about preferences in this regard.
- Never proselytize at work or disparage someone’s religion. Employees are entitled to a reasonable accommodation at work for sincerely held religious beliefs, and anyone needing a religious accommodation should seek it from the manager or human resources.
- Never threaten, intimidate or bully another employee at work.
- Never send inappropriate text messages or electronic communications that violate any of the never evers. Workplaces should avoid double standards: Men are equally entitled to be free from sexual advances as women.